


Breathe In, Breathe Out

by Widowfics



Series: Varian and Whumptober 2020 [12]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Delayed Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt Varian (Disney), I really wanted to write her redeemed later, OOC Cassandra, Suicide Attempt, Team Awesome (Disney: Tangled), This One Is Dark, Whumptober 2020, big sis Raps, but i tried, but laziness hit me like a truck, cause I'm tired, don't judge I'm just a freshman, heh I'm a sophomore now, not too many tags today, probably not as dark as it should be, thx for reading anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26999002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Widowfics/pseuds/Widowfics
Summary: He shuts his eyes.He breathes in the fresh, salty air.He thinks of what he’s leaving behind…He jumps.orIt's two months after his official pardon, and Varian realizes he can't take it anymore; Eugene realizes there's more to the kid than he thought
Relationships: Cassandra & Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Varian, Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Series: Varian and Whumptober 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940524
Comments: 53
Kudos: 194
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi, sorry, I literally JUST finished writing this and I'm trying to post it before I pass out... obviously no beta reading so if it sucks, oops.
> 
> I did want to post some trigger warnings cause this is a heavy subject, so, um
> 
> MENTIONS OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE
> 
> (sorry if that sounds like I don't care; I really do but I'm REALLY tired)
> 
> also thanks for the birthday wishes guys! I had a good day:) and without further ado, the story~
> 
> PROMPTS I USED TODAY: delayed drowning (ik, this is the perfect character for chemical pneumonia, but I needed to write this, ok?)

His life might be a mess of confusion and uncertainty right now, but here, standing on the bridge that connects Corona’s capital to the rest of the kingdom, Varian knows one thing for sure.

He has to do this, and he has to do it now.

If he doesn’t, he’ll lose his nerve, and the people of Corona will be stuck with him. They, his friends, his _father_ ; no one can be safe while he’s around.

He adjusts his grip on the heavy rock he’s holding, making sure it’s tied securely around his ankle. The height of the top of the bridge is not enough to kill him on impact (he had done the math multiple times), but he had measured the weight of the rock and it will be enough to keep him underwater. That along with the fact that it’s the middle of the night and no one will be out to see him makes his plan almost perfect.

Varian lets out a shaky sigh, but he convinces himself it’s only from the cold. He’s long since accepted his fate, or at least he thinks so. At first, he hadn’t _wanted_ it to come to this, hadn’t _wanted_ to die. He had just gotten everything back, his friends, his father, his life. And if things weren’t quite normal yet, well, time could always fix that. Right?

He wishes. It’s been almost two months since his official pardon and his dad being freed. He had told himself the whispers and glares - and violence, occasionally - from his neighbors and other townspeople would calm down eventually (it hasn’t). He had done his best to truly believe his friends trust and love him again (it...isn’t working). 

But he can live with that. Sure, it would be nice to not be hated. It would be nice if simply saying his name was not like a curse in the kingdom. In the end, though, none of it really matters. None of it matters as long as his father is here. With him, for him. As long as Dad doesn’t whisper, Dad doesn’t glare, Dad doesn’t hate, Dad doesn’t _distrust_ \- there’s nothing else that matters.

_But Dad does._

It had taken a little while, but Varian noticed. After his father had been told, told about it all, it’s the only thing he can see. Now - between people, motions vengeful, friends, speech careful, Dad, eyes so _disappointed_ \- he can _not_ live with _that_ . He cannot _live_.

So he won’t.

He looks behind him, the large silhouette of the castle filling the view only serving to seal his decision. Maybe it’s right, and maybe not. All he knows, is that it’s the only one.

And it’s time to stop stalling.

He takes another deep breath, shuffling towards the very edge. Even the slightest pressure would send him sprawling off. The weight of the rock keeps him anchored in the present, and away from stupid memories or thoughts that threaten to ruin his plan. No, nothing will stop him. For once, things will turn out how they’re supposed to.

He shuts his eyes.

He breathes in the fresh, salty air.

He thinks of what he’s leaving behind…

He jumps.

Some say the fall is the longest moment you will ever experience. Varian doesn’t even register it. Soon, his feet break through the water, sending a violent shock through his body that his heart can’t relate to. The cold ocean envelopes him in a caress no one has ever attempted with him. The carefully measured weight does it’s job, dragging him under the surface, the sliver of moonlight previously lighting his path quickly disappearing. Darkness encompasses him.

And he finds...he’s not scared. Perhaps this is what should’ve happened all along. His lungs may be on fire but his conscience is at peace. Calm washes over him with the tide. So, a right choice at last.

Suddenly, he feels something. It’s as if...someone else is here with him? Without warning, the rope originally tied around his ankle seems to snap off. Then he’s...floating back up?!

Yet, he can’t find it in himself to panic. Maybe this is what death feels like. Or maybe there _is_ someone trying to save him. If so, they’re too late. He doesn’t want to be saved. He’s decided, he’s accepted, he’s leaving. Nobody’s changing that.

The last of his consciousness (or life, for that matter) slips from his mind. Yes, it’s too late. It’s been too late for a while now, hasn’t it? Oh well, there’s nothing to do now. It’s over. It’s all over.

The ghost of last words echoes in his ears. 

_Goodbye, world. You’re safe now._

I’m _safe, now._

~

Eugene had expected to be up tonight. It was obvious after laying in bed and staring at the ceiling for an hour, sleep would not be coming to him. And that’s fine; a man needed a night to himself every now and then, especially when dealing with all the things he had been dealing with, recently. Climbing out his window and sneaking out of the castle, Flynn Rider style, had been a good start to clearing his mind. Taking a walk through the empty streets of the capital city had been the next step. Soon, he had found his way to the docks, a smile tugging at his face at the memories that filled these waters.

And then came the _un_ expected thing. A figure, standing on the top of the bridge, small body illuminated by the moon behind it.

Then a figure, plunging into the water.

Eugene’s instincts react immediately. He rips off his jacket and dives off the end of the dock, ignoring how cold it is. He doesn’t know who exactly is drowning in front of him, or why, but he knows there’s no way he’s gonna stand by and let them die. 

Thankfully, he’s a fast swimmer. He’s made it to the spot where the body fell, though he can’t see any sign of it. He takes a deep breath, before diving back under, his eyes open this time and straining to see through the darkness of the night.

But finally, his hand touches something. A...rock? He’s about to let go of it and keep searching when he feels something else. There’s a rope tied to the rock. He runs his hand down it and eventually finds that the other end is tied to somebody’s ankle. In fact, he can now see the entire person he’s trying to save, though he can’t identify them quite yet.

The knot is tight, so he reaches for his knife, easily severing the rope. Once the person is free, he wraps one arm around their much smaller body, using his other to swim to shore on the other side. The person doesn’t react at all.

Eugene carefully lays the body on the ground, standing up and rubbing the water out of his eyes. When he looks back down at his rescuee, though, his heart stops.

A young, freckled face that he would recognize anywhere is what meets him. And if he still had doubts, the blue stripe in his wet hair completely confirms it.

It’s Varian he just saved from drowning.

As if on cue, the boy begins to cough. Eugene drops to one knee, gently lifting his head up so the water spills out of his mouth. Inside, a thousand different questions are swirling around.

Once all the water seems to be out of his system, Varian slowly opens his eyes, groaning as he does so.

“Mm- m’I...dead?” he says quietly, voice hoarse. His eyes lock with Eugene’s, but he doesn’t seem to recognize him yet.

“What? No, I-I saved you, kid,” Eugene answers slowly, very, _very_ confused.

“What?” Varian responds, sounding confused himself.

Eugene ignores him, ready to ask some of his own questions.

“What were you doing on the bridge?” he asks. Then a terrible thought comes into his head. “Wait, kid, did someone- did someone try to kill you?”

Eugene knows Varian is not liked around here, or anywhere, for that matter. It seems not many agreed with Rapunzel’s decision to pardon him. Personally, he can see why. The kid had done some messed up stuff, stuff he still can’t quite believe to this day. But if Rapunzel believes in him, then so does he. And, no matter what he did, Varian does not deserve to get hurt, much less _killed_.

“You - you saved me?” Varian asks in return, now sitting up.

Eugene furrows his eyebrows. “Uh, yeah. Look, Goggles, if someone tried to-”

“Why?”

Eugene is caught off guard by Varian’s interruption. Did - did he just ask _why_ Eugene had saved him? And why did he look so...distressed, all of a sudden?

“Kid, I-”

“Why would you do that?!” he shouts, anger bleeding through. He pushes himself up, standing as straight as he can so he doesn’t have to crane his neck as much to meet Eugene’s eyes.

Eugene is speechless. What is he talking about?

“I did-didn’t want this! I don’t want - I don’t _need_ your help! Just leave me alone, ok? Just-just-”

Eugene’s face deepens with more worry than confusion now. What is the kid going on about? Had someone pushed him? If not, then why on earth had he jumped…

Oh.

_Oh._

He understands. He _gets_ it, now. He had just assumed that the quirky smiles and lighthearted greetings he had gotten on the few occasions he actually took the time to talk to him meant that life was going back to normal for the young ex-convict. But that wasn’t the case at all, was it? He knows first hand how well Varian is at pretending, at hiding his true feelings. He’s been faking everything this entire time, hasn’t he?

And the scariest part is that _no one_ would’ve even noticed. Not till it was too late. Not till they were dragging a body out of the bottom of the bay. 

“Oh, _Varian_.”

Varian stops his ranting, looking up at Eugene with hesitant eyes at the man’s change in tone. 

“W-What?”

Eugene doesn’t answer. Instead, he wraps his arms around the boy, holding him tightly. He’s not really one to show so much affection but - oh gosh, how could he have let this happen?

Varian, on his part, seems more than surprised. At first, he falls still with shock. Then he begins to struggle, roughly trying to push the taller man away.

“What- what are you doing? I said I don’t need your help, ok? What part of leave me alone do you not understand?”

Eugene doesn’t let go. Varian still sounds angry, but he knows it’s not real. Anger has always been the kid’s cover up for much deeper, much darker feelings. He’s not going to let him drive him away, not again.

“Kid, I-” Eugene opens his mouth, trying to find the right words to say. “How could you - why would you do that?”

It goes unspoken what _that_ is. But both have an exact understanding.

Varian stops struggling, not quite comfortable, but not trying to get away, at least.

“You know why,” he says quietly.

Eugene ends the embrace, instead gripping the teen’s shoulders tightly and searching his face.

“No, I don’t.”

Varian looks away, as if ashamed to have to explain his reasoning.

“It’s been two months, Eugene,” he starts solemnly. “I’m not just any kid anymore. Actually, I don’t think I ever was. I-I’m dangerous, and unstable, and people can’t be _safe_ if I’m around.”

He shrugs, as if what he just implied means nothing.

“But if I leave, well. Everyone’s just...better off.”

“No.”

Varian looks back at Eugene.

“What?”

“No,” the older man repeats. “Varian, you’re a smart kid. I _know_ you don’t believe that. You made up for your mistakes, you’re trying to be better. Rapunzel sees it in you, _I_ see it in you, why can’t you see it in yourself-”

“I HATE myself!”

Eugene falls silent at the boy’s outburst. He realizes the false anger from before is gone, revealing the true brokenness that’s been inside the kid for...too long.

“I h-hate myself,” Varian repeats, voice so quiet, so defeated. “I deserve to die- I want to die, Eugene. Why don’t you get it? W-Why...”

This time, he doesn’t have to move; Varian simply falls into his already open arms, as if he has suddenly become too weak to support himself. Eugene doesn’t resist, once again holding the kid tightly and allowing them both to slowly sink to the ground.

For a moment, neither speaks. Water drips from their soaking clothes and hair, but Eugene barely notices. All he can focus on is the way Varian shakes (whether from the cold or silent sobs, he doesn’t know).

“I can’t do this anymore,” he finally says, whisper so low Eugene almost misses it.

He gently lifts the boy’s head off of his shoulder, but Varian avoids meeting his eyes.

“Why would you save me?”

He looks away, obviously not expecting an answer. Eugene doesn’t care.

“Because you deserve it,” he starts softly, causing Varian to snap his head back towards him. “Because you have a bright future ahead of you. Because you’re a _good_ kid.”

“But-”

“Because there are people that love you. Rapunzel. Your _father_. That raccoon. What’s his name, Rudd? Rudder?”

“Ruddiger,” Varian supplies, and Eugene swears he sees the tiniest smile flash on his face.

“Right, Ruddiger. And kid, I know I haven’t told you before, but... _I_ love you. And I care about what happens to you, and how you feel. And if people are making you feel like you are worthless enough to just… Well, maybe someone should remind them otherwise.”

“It’s not their fault,” he argues weakly.

“It’s not yours, either.”

“How can you say that?” he asks, pure disbelief radiated with every word.

Eugene doesn’t back down, becoming more confident in his feelings about the situation by the second.

“Because it’s _true_ . Look, as much as I hate it, I can’t force people to feel a certain way. But I _will_ do everything in my power to protect you from them. As long as I’m around, no one’s gonna touch you, Varian.”

Doubt fills Varian’s eyes, and Eugene’s face softens. He takes the boy’s cold hand in his own, as if to emphasize his next point.

“What I want you to promise me, is that you won’t touch _yourself_ ,” he pleads.

“I don’t know if I can ever love myself again,” Varian replies honestly.

Eugene nods, despite the conflicting emotions he feels. “And that’s how you’re gonna feel, at first. This is a _big deal_ , kid, not something that’s going to go away in a couple months.”

He pulls him close once more, cradling his head close with his hand, not caring if this would be uncomfortable for him under other circumstances.

“It hurts, I know it hurts. But you can get through this. _We’re_ gonna get through this, ok?”

Varian’s fingers tighten around Eugene’s shirt, as if the man is the one and only thing keeping him alive (and he very well may be.) A beat passes, before an answer.

“...ok.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eugene has unearthed the kid's darkest secret...
> 
> What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally collected ~just~ enough motivation to finish this by scrolling through like the last four months of comments during English class today. Yeah, don't ask. And just a quick update: I have officially joined the choral group and student council at my new school so...you guessed it. Less writing time.
> 
> Nah lets be honest, I will always put fanfiction over academics.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this addition! I'm not sure how I feel about it, but maybe it's good?
> 
> EDIT: Yeah, for those of you who have already read this and are wondering what the whole "she can’t lolooooooooooooollololololololololoolololololololollollollloolloooolloololollleven begin to express" was about:
> 
> NO I do not have a cat, but I DO have a little sister that likes to be jerk sometimes and log in to my google account to mess with my docs. I was quickly looking this over before posting last night so I didn't catch that, but I edited it out now:/ thanks for not completely losing all faith in my sanity XD

“Eugene?”

Rapunzel’s eyes meet her boyfriend’s from where he stands in the middle of the library as she bursts through the doors. It must be well past midnight, but a maid had quietly knocked on her door and told her Eugene had requested an urgent meeting. No one else had been aroused, though, and they seem to be the only ones awake. Looking him over now, he is wrapped in a blanket, fire from the hearth illuminating freshly damp hair.  
And in his arms, he holds a small form.

Rapunzel gasps as the form stirs, revealing black hair with an unforgettable blue streak, also wet and sticking to pale skin. She quickly closes the distance between them.

Eugene doesn’t address her immediately, looking down at the boy first. “Alright buddy, it’s time for _your_ blanket now. You can sleep on the couch, ok?”

Varian barely acknowledges the man, heading lolling in what could be considered a nod. Eugene leans over the couch, gently setting the teen down. He comes up with another blanket, which he tucks around the young alchemist. Varian doesn’t make a sound.

Finally, Eugene turns towards Rapunzel, who has been watching everything from a couple feet away. 

“What happened?” she asks, almost panicked as she rushes towards the sleeping boy. “Is he ok?”

Eugene surprises her by holding her back. Her head snaps up, eyes searching his face for what could have caused the action.

Her stomach twists when all she finds is pure regret.

“We need to talk.”

She doesn’t resist his hold as he quietly leads her away from the couch and the fire, stopping only a small distance away as she notices he seems to be unwilling to take his eyes off the kid.

“Eugene, what’s going on?” she asks more forcefully this time.

He hesitates, if only for a moment, before giving her her answer.

“I was walking through the city tonight. I had some stuff on my mind, and I needed to get away. Somehow, I ended up near the bridge. Thank _goodness_ I did.”

Rapunzel is becoming increasingly confused by the second, but not without an ever growing twinge of dread. “Why? What happened?”

Eugene takes her hand in his, as if to prepare her for his response, or to steady himself.

“Varian tried to kill himself tonight.”

The words don’t register at first for her. “What?”

“He was on top of the bridge, I saw him last second. He tied a rock to his ankle.”

A violent shudder rips through her spine, and she grips Eugene’s hand back. She manages to stutter a response.

“A-And what? You - you talked him out of it?”

This time, Eugene’s eyes drift from hers.

“No. I had to pull him out of the bay.”

Rapunzel stifles a scream with her hand, at the same time wanting to vomit. She can’t help but glance over at the - deceptively - peacefully sleeping boy. 

Before she can even think of what to do next, strong arms pull her into a numb hug. A shaky voice in her ear speaks terrors she can’t even begin to express.

“Rapunzel, some of the things he was saying...I couldn’t believe…”

She holds him tightly, her own whisper escaping her lips, despite her better judgment.

“What did he say?”

“He asked me why I saved him. Why I would _save_ him from _drowning_? Sunshine, he told me he hates himself. He thinks everyone will be safer if he’s gone.”

She can only focus on breathing besides his words. When he stops, she looks up at him again.

He seems to contemplate something, more and more horror creeping into his features as a realization dawns.

“And I think...I think _we_ may have done that.”

Rapunzel surprises herself when she nods almost immediately, though slowly. But she can’t find any fault in the statement.

“All that time we were just out there...living...and he was stuck here. Alone. In _prison_ ,” she chokes out. 

“He was just a kid,” Eugene continues. “No matter what he did to us. We’re supposed to be the adults, and we’re the ones who started the entire situation. We didn’t even stick around long enough to clean up the mess.”  
Rapunzel doesn’t make a move forward, but she turns to face the kid in question. Eugene copies her, pressing her to his side.

“What do we do now?” she asks quietly.

A moment of silence passes between them. The only sounds that can be heard are the crackling of fire, and the soft snoring of a boy who has been through so much at such a young age.

Eugene’s low voice finally fills the space.

“We protect him now. And we make sure that he’s _never_ alone again.”

_~Weeks Later~_

“Pascal? Pascal, come out buddy!”

“Rapunzel.”

Rapunzel looks up from the broken wood she had been checking under, eyes widening at Eugene’s solemn tone. Eugene is staring out through a crack in the blue-black tower, body unmoving as his gaze. 

“I found him,” he breathes, and Rapunzel’s heartbeat picks up. 

She rushes to his side. “Pascal?” she asks, but something inside tells her she’s incorrect.

Eugene shakes his head. “No.” He claps a hand over his mouth, and Rapunzel freezes. “Oh my gosh.”

Rapunzel freezes. “What? What is it?”

Eugene steps away, and the sight is no longer obscured from her view. Her heart drops immediately on recognition.

“I found Varian.”

About a hundred feet away, more than three hundred feet in the air, extends a platform. On the end of that platform is the unmistakable form of a certain black and blue haired, sixteen year old boy.

A certain boy who has a certain... _history_ , with such heights.

“What did she- what is she doing?!” Rapunzel exclaims, bracing herself against her boyfriend.

“Blondie,” Eugene tries weakly, stabilizing her. 

“How could she?” she continues to gasp, not hearing him. “Varian...he could...he could…”

“She wouldn’t know,” Eugene rationalizes, despite himself. “She couldn’t. No one knows.”

Rapunzel can’t take her eyes off the boy’s outline, so far away from her...so far away from safety.

Too alone with himself.

Determination sets in her features, and she reluctantly pulls away. 

“Alright,” she starts, turning towards the staircase she had been eyeing before. “I’m going to talk to her. It can’t wait anymore.”

Eugene stares at her longingly, as if wanting to protest. He seems to think better of it, narrowing his eyes in understanding.

“I’ll go get the kid,” he finishes. 

She nods in agreement, seeming ready to go ahead, but stopping last minute. Her sharp look softens momentarily.

“Be careful,” she sighs, a plea hidden in her voice.

“You too,” he almost begs.

In a moment, she’s disappeared deeper into the living nightmare.

Eugene takes a breath, then steps into open air.

He starts slowly down the platform, focusing only on balance, but the urgency of the situation floods him all at once and he quickly loses regard for his own safety. Once he’s within earshot, he calls out.

“Varian, can you hear me?”

The boy has no reaction, makes no movement to allude to the fact he had. Eugene tries again.

“Varian?”

This time, the teen slowly raises his head, looking back at the man with wide eyes that seem to have adversely broken out of a trance. 

“Eugene?” eventually responds his small voice.

Eugene lets out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “Don’t worry kid, you’re going to be ok. I’m coming. Are you hurt?”

The agonizing seconds it takes for him to answer has his heart skipping.

“No,” he finally says. “But I’m trapped. I can’t get out of this cage.”

It sounds horrible even to his own ears, but Eugene can’t help but breathe a ‘thank you’ to nothing in particular. He can't get out; he can't...fall…

_“Why would you save me?”_

It’s been weeks since that night, but Eugene still can’t suppress the shudder that comes with any memory tied to it. He had sworn to protect the kid, from his enemies, from the townspeople.

And most importantly, from himself.

And even though...even though he’s getting better every day...Eugene can’t-

Eugene isn’t giving up his oath.

“I’m coming kid,” he repeats, but this time it’s a whisper solely for himself.

~

Pascal skitters to his rightful spot on Rapunzel’s shoulder, not daring to make a sound at the intensity practically radiating off his best friend.

“Cass!” she yells as the woman stands above her, a smug grin lighting her face. “Look, you got what you wanted. You got the incantation, you control the rocks. I don’t want to fight you, ok? I want you to come home, I miss you! We all do!”

Rapunzel is clearly not finished, and Cass patiently waits, waits for her former friend to finish the same speech she’s yapped the few unfortunate times they’ve had to confront each other since her decision to leave them. 

“But…”

Cass lifts an eyebrow. “But?”

Fire burns beneath the princess’s eyes, and suddenly, there’s no room for the hyper-compassion, over-excitement the moonstone wielder has come to resent. She almost takes a step back.

“You need to let Varian go. _Now_.”

Cassandra blinks.

“What?”

Rapunzel seems to be barely holding herself together. There’s something behind her words, some deeper meaning that she’s not letting on to.

“I can’t- I’m not gonna explain it all to you. I know you’re mad at me right now and the last thing you want to do is listen to me. But believe me when I tell you, _he can’t stay there any longer_.”

Rapunzel’s voice cracks at the end of her sentence, and this time Cass does take a step back. Rapunzel sounds worried, almost deathly so, an emotion Cass hasn’t heard from her in ages. Maybe there is something wrong…

Something _is_ going on, and Rapunzel is deliberately leaving her in the dark. Honestly, how blind does she think Cass is? After _everything_ , and she thinks she’s going to hand over the kid, no questions asked. 

Well...she had been planning on something along those lines at first, but now Rapunzel has stupidly revealed he is someone who obviously has more importance than the former handmaiden previously assumed. 

And she will not let Rapunzel strip her of any more power.

“And what if I don’t?” Cassandra taunts, lifting her chin.

Rapunzel tenses, her fist tightening around the strap of her purse.

“Cass...don’t do this-”

“I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!” Cass yells, suddenly not up to keeping her composure. Yes, she had kidnapped Varian for the incantation, but he also had another use. And that was to lure the princess to this exact spot.

So she can _break_ her. 

“You. Don’t. Control me. Not anymore,” she continues through a snarl. “And Varian is staying _right_ there. So if you want him, you’re gonna have to go through me.”

Cass throws a hand into the air, causing a large block of rock to sprout from the ground underneath Rapunzel. As soon as the blonde realizes what’s happening, she leaps from the quickly rising platform and onto the ground, sumersulting and jumping back into a furious stance.

“Cass! Don’t make me do this!”

Spikes shoot from behind the princess, causing her to run forward to avoid being impaled. Unfortunately, that means running straight into Cassandra. Rapunzel sees it coming, and uses it to her advantage. She shoves the moonstone wielder into the ground, pinning her down with a hand on each shoulder. Cass gasps in surprise at the sudden violence from the usually super-gentle girl. 

“Let him go!” Rapunzel shouts into her rival’s face, using all her strength to keep the woman from escaping.

“Why?!” Cass spits back, writhing against the grip. “Why is he suddenly so important? This _is_ the same kid who tried to kill _both_ of us, right? Why isn’t he in jail?!”

These particular words seem to get to Rapunzel and she hesitates. Cass uses her chance to push her off, calling a blunt rock to push herself back up. Now she stands over the Sundrop, who is still trying to pick herself up from the ground.

“Fine,” she starts, tone laced with venom, livid at the entire situation. “You want me to let him go? I’ll let him go.”

Rapunzel gets back on her feet just in time to see Cassandra clench her fist into the air. But nothing happens, and she’s only left confused.

Cassandra stares the other girl down, knowing full well what she has just done, and waiting for the reaction…

A surprised cry reaches their ears even from all the way here, and Cass smirks. (Although it doesn’t sound like Varian’s child-like voice, as she had expected. In fact, it sounds more like a man’s, and almost familiar…)

“What did you do?!” Rapunzel exclaims, whipping around to face the crack in the wall that leads out to the extended platform two people she cares about more than anything are currently trapped upon.

Cass doesn’t answer, allowing the princess the liberty of running towards the crack to see for herself. She follows close behind, wanting to see the exact moment the horror hits her features.

 _Break her spirit!_ The blue girl had told her. And she won’t stand to be called out for cowardice again.

So she will break Rapunzel’s spirit. _Bit_ by _bit_.

~

“Kid! Hold on, don’t move!”

Eugene’s desperate command barely reaches Varian’s ears over the now unblocked wind roaring through them instead. One second, Eugene had been trying to talk to him through the unbreakable black rocks of his cage, and the next, there was nothing between him and a guaranteed life-threatening drop.

A guaranteed life- _ending_ drop.

His emotions melt away into nothing. Eugene crawls closer to him, frantically stretching a hand towards him and yelling something. He can’t even make out the words anymore. The only thing that keeps him rooted in reality is the animalistic panic behind whatever the man is yelling (he can guess; it’s only been a couple of weeks since he had been moments from an embraced end, only for Eugene to yank him away last minute), although he can already tell that will fail him soon.

He needs to find something else, something to hold on to. Not physically - he should’ve taken Eugene’s hand by now, but his body refuses. His mind needs to grasp something before it betrays him, fatally. If not for himself, then for Eugene, and Rapunzel, who have fought so hard against the fate that awaits him, should he fail at keeping his traitorous thoughts at bay.

 _Rapunzel_. That’s it. He only needs to focus his eyesight and look over Eugene’s head slightly to find a new scene to latch onto. About a hundred feet away, the blond princess stares back at him for a split, heart shattering second, before being pulled back by an electric blue form. She doesn’t hesitate to attack Cassandra in return. Apparently all the good she knows is still in her former friend means nothing to her now. Varian briefly wonders if he has anything to do with that.

Eugene is still screaming at him, looking back every now and again at the new trance the boy has caught himself in this time. Varian’s eyes dart wildly between the two girls as they move back and forth, teeth bared and hands up, one armed with a unbreakable sword, the other an impenetrable shield. 

And then, suddenly, Rapunzel drops her defensive position and launches for her heavily armored opponent, tackling her to the ground. Cassandra barely catches herself, arms flying.

And unfortunately, taking a few rocks with her.

The platform lurches underneath them, and Varian doesn’t even have a moment to gasp in shock before the ground disappears and he’s falling. It’s funny. In the end, he doesn’t even have to make the decision. If there’s even a decision to make. The open air encompasses him, and he’s not sure if the universe is slapping him in the face one more time, or finally gracing him with an unordinary kindness.

Then a hand grabs his and his descent is cut short. His head jerks up, the first swift movement he’s done since being trapped out here. The pain of dangling in mid air by his arm alone already shoots through his body, but at least it helps him pay full attention to the situation.

Eugene is staring down at him, eyes wide and wilder than he’s ever seen before. No doubt he’s remembering the last time he was the only barrier between this boy and the all too familiar clutches of death. The first true emotion in this experience shoves itself into the front of his mind: sympathy. It seems the universe’s treatment of Varian is steadily rubbing off on Eugene.

“Varian!” he yells through clenched teeth.

Another shake rattles the edge and Eugene’s grip slips. Varian can’t keep from crying out as their fingers intwine, the only thing holding him up. 

“Oh my- kid, please, _please_ don’t let go,” Eugene begs, strained at the kid’s weight. He holds out his other hand, balancing himself in a way where both of them won’t be pulled down. “Grab onto my arms so I can pull you back up.”

Varian doesn’t answer; he can’t. He looks down, vision filled with a dizzying sight of ant sized trees underneath him. His breath comes in short bursts as his mind tries to wrap itself around the situation.

Because a realization has just hit him.

He’s being given a choice.

He can let go right now. He can have what Eugene had taken from him that night. He would never again have to deal with feeling like he can’t breathe because of panic, he would never again half to feel the townspeople’s eyes burning into his back as he walked through the street in shame, he would never again half to lay awake at night wondering if his dad could ever look at him with more than sad, careful eyes as if he could break at any moment. 

Never again, if he just _lets go_.

“Please…” Eugene breathes, so quietly Varian barely catches it over the howling wind battering his face and ripping through his hair. “You can’t do this to yourself. You can’t do this to _me_.”

Varian’s eyes lock with his only tether to life, and suddenly he’s not suspended in midair anymore. He’s not even _here_ . He’s in Eugene’s arms, dripping wet and clinging to the man’s chest as they trek back to the castle in soothing silence. He’s walking through the capital with Rapunzel as she listens to everything and anything he has to say. He’s playing cards with Lance, Catalina, and Angry. He’s harvesting pumpkins with his dad. He’s curling up with Ruddiger and solving an equation in his notebook. He’s _living_ , existing happily right alongside pain. He’s tasting a small piece of what life could be, if he only lets himself get that far…

 _It hurts, I know it hurts. But you can get through this._ We’re _gonna get through this, ok?_

Eugene had promised to protect him, and had only asked for Varian to allow it in return. 

Yes, Varian has the chance to make _all_ his pain go away. And he realizes with beautiful warmth, that he doesn’t _want_ to.

He grabs Eugene’s other hand.

Eugene doesn’t hesitate for a moment, immediately dragging the boy up and onto the solid surface. Strong arms encompass him, crushing him to their chest. One thing is whispered again and again like a broken record.

“Thank you, kid. _Thank you_.”

No more shaking comes, nothing to threaten the safety they have found in each other and themselves. Emotions that have been numbed to nothing for so long finally reach to the surface, and Varian cries into the man’s shirt.

“I want to stay with you,” he admits, muffled.

Eugene hears him, and not even the fighting only yards away can make him break this moment.

The minutes after that go by quickly, too quickly. Varian reveals that he has discovered a fourth incantation for Rapunzel, and together they reenter the tower. Cass is unhinged; that much is obvious. Something has to be done - Rapunzel uses his discovery, Cass’s attacks so relentless that she doesn’t even get a second to react to Varian’s freedom. There are bright lights, clashing and smashing into a horrific show. Blue and yellow still dot his vision even after a magical shockwave puts an end to everything. 

Rapunzel gets up with a groan in the center of the now significantly damaged throne room. Varian and Eugene recover from the blinding scene, instantly running to her side. 

“Eugene? Pascal! Va-”

“Rapunzel!”

Eugene wraps her in a hug, cradling her head close before ultimately pulling away with a short laugh.

“I know this is an emotional moment for you,” he starts, not able to contain a smile. “But I gotta say. That. Was. _Awesome_!”

Rapunzel laughs a little too, pushing hair behind her ears. Her eyes catch on the alchemist standing to the side, and fill with a hundred different emotions.

“Varian!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around him. “Oh, we were so worried about you!”

Varian hugs her back, chuckling awkwardly as she finally lets her arms drop. She glances at Eugene as she continues.

“I saw you on the edge with Eugene, but Cass wouldn’t…” she trails off, as if recalling a bad memory.

Varian rubs the back of his neck, the weight of his decision that day pressing on his heart comfortably. 

“Yeah...I - I realized I’d rather be with you guys. More than anything.”

Rapunzel subconsciously holds Eugene’s hand, eyes widening ever so slightly at Varian’s admission. Eugene squeezes it, smiling almost - almost _proudly_ at him. 

"Really?"

“Yeah,” he breathes, unshed tears threatening to break through.

Without a second of warning, the three have fallen into an embrace: the princess and her boyfriend enclose their friend in their arms. For a minute, nothing exists besides them, and the stars above them. Nothing can make this end. Not even death.

In the end, Varian will admit it. Dying _is_ easy; living is harder.

But he sure as heck will go through it every day, if it means he gets to keep people like the two who hold him now.

Because if they believe life can be like _this_ …?

Well, maybe it can.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so I probably shouldn't mention that this was originally gonna be twice as long and included an ending scene where Cass and Varian talk about what went down in the tower after her redemption and on her way out of Corona. But, y'know, *laziness* So yeah, I cut it out. Also I feel really bad about completely downplaying the awesomeness that was Cassandra's Revenge. But ofc, this wasn't a fic about that, so it wouldn't have made sense. That doesn't mean my brain stops being mad at myself.
> 
> I think I might do the other options I listed in the election, just for fun. It'll make up for cheating you outta half of this sequel.
> 
> 7K UPDATE: One chapter left to write for the pilot movie!!! I can't believe this is finally happening XD
> 
> ps if you spotted the hamilton reference in this fic you win everything

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading:) again, sorry if the end sucked but at least I got it done:/
> 
> ALSO: if you are ever dealing with depressing or suicidal thoughts, PLEASE talk to someone about it. I personally would suggest a pastor, if you can, as they are the best equipped for talking about those feelings. This is VERY important.
> 
> I hope y'all have a great day!


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